Rural women – A dreamy existence at times but bloody hard work and challenging!

Watching my cousins all grow up in rural worlds, almost seemed romantic to me as a child. I would visit every holiday from the city and ride horses, milk some cows, pick fruit, ride my motor bike, jump in mud, star gaze, play a lot of cricket, ride on tractors and hang out in makeshift cubbies. I was particularly indulged with attention from one Aunt who lived on a remote property with her husband and six sons. She would beg to do my long hair every day! Aside from the bugs, mice, snakes, dodgy plumbing and the intense quiet where I lay awake at night a little nervous listening to lots of unfamiliar noises in the pitch dark, it was a fabulous escape from the chaos of the city.

But as I grew older, I slowly grew to understand the reality of their world beyond these simple wholesome joys. They were extremely long and physically exhausting days, to get someone to attend to the farm so they could have a break was expensive and stressful, they rarely had a sleep in due to the livestock needs, the weather was unpredictable and often extremely cruel. I watched them cry as crops were ruined, neighbours were fatally injured on machines, deal with regular power outages, witness their favourite horse die from a snake bite, hungry dingo's that surrounded and killed their livestock, endless fences that always needed checking and repairing, the worries of lost stock and children wandering into open dams. I watched dairy farms go bust or forced to convert to beef if they could afford it. Teenagers who were not wanting to remain on the property planning their escape. Medical and other support services that were a long distance away or sub-standard.

My Grandmother had been a very social Melbourne girl when she met my Grandfather Charlie. She had fallen deeply in love with the country boy who seduced her to go rural with stories of green pastures and healthy living. But for Nan, it was beyond confronting. The quiet, lack of resources, facilities, shopping and entertainment, her lack of rural living skills, the initial difficulty of breaking into the local social cliques and community, the non-existent holidays, fear when any of the four children needed urgent medical assistance, the long wait for products and services and financial strain, put her mental health and marriage in jeopardy on many occasions. She once said that whilst she eventually made a lot of lovely friends in her small community, she always kept all her family issues very private and did not feel she wanted to discuss them even with the local doctor who was her neighbours.

All my aunties were country born and bred so their coping mechanisms and understanding of the challenges of rural living were a lot more realistic. They spoke so fondly of their wonderful communities who supported one another and how they could never have endured city living. However, there were still many days when they admitted they wished they had had access to more help to deal with the stresses and challenges, the remoteness, menopause, teen issues, even the empty nest feelings as their children often opted out of rural living. 

Family Counselling Support Network and Separation Support Network offer our rural clients confidential, online services with flexible hours to accommodate their schedules no matter where they are located. If there isn’t a time that suits you just email us at [email protected] and we will do whatever we can to help. 

We also offer a range of online workshops and courses, fabulous free online book club (Konnect) and resources. BOOK CLUB LAUNCHING SOON!!!

From 1 September we also invite you to join us on the couch with a cup of tea (or cheeky wine) to listen to me having a chat and a giggle with a fabulous range of people talking all things women – ‘On the Couch with Susan & Friends.’

Reach out anytime. We are here for you. x